White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Dammit!! Why That I missed him so???

It has been few weeks that I tried very hard to forget about him. Him who took my heart away and crushed it. Him who said that he loves me so much, at the end that I know he doesn't understand what's the real meaning of love. He who adored me for who I am, but only GOD knows how well he acted. Yes, in so many ways, he has changed my perception of man and love..

Maybe he is sick, sick inside that he even didn't even realize that he is sick. He has been looking for love for all these while before he met me. He abandon his love for his family looking for peace, happiness and joy outside, but at the end he realize that it was not what he's looking for. And he will be always been looking for something that he, himself don't even know what's completed him.

From the way i observed him, his heart comes from a broken pieces, nobody could completed him. Every women in his life somehow hold and carry some part of him. I think that includes me too. Confused whether to blame everything on him, or accepting him for what he is? Girls, when you come across with someone like this, first you have to know that with whom you been dealing with.

I been there, and I know...no matter how much I give in will never be enough for him. Because he didn't how much is enough for him..he is the slave for his own hunger..

It is not totally his fault, maybe the way he is brought up in his life..lack of attention and love. Or maybe the wrong set of idol that he has been set for himself, I don't know..only him and GOD knows...

Deeply inside, I love him and I cared for him..but nothing I can do. I was hurt, hurt by his deeds, and words. until today...everything still fresh in my head. I pray that this pain will stop on day but honestly, it will take me sometimes to heal from this heartbreak.

Dammit!!!!!!!!!

Why is it today, i miss him so??????? Why?!! Sick isn't it? I was missing for all those charm and cared. DAmmmitttt!!! GOD please help me...my heart has been painfully broken, but why, why i missed him so? he took away everything that i own once, MY HEART, but why..???

DAmmit!!! Life must go on...and I've started mine...I have to be strong!!

Chenta Hearty

Blog adek aku yang cute miutttttt

Setelah sekian lamer aku tak update blog aku...hari ni ader gak chance aku mengerobek blog yang dah nak usang nie..start2, bukak blog Tia...isk3x adek aku yang sungguh sengal tuh suke buat aku gelak terbahak-bahak..anyway guys, wish you all enjoy melayan post adek ku yang chomel nie...
mayat terdampar kat office?????

ye..tadi kat office ade mayat hidup berlegar-legar kat ruang office..
mao tau sape???kitala!!!!!..
mao tau kenapa dan mengapa???
sebabnya hari ni satu office kita bau kari!!
mak datok!!!engkau..jangan main-main..
kita ni kalau dah terhidu bau kari ni rasa cam pening lak pale kita+perutku yang munggil ni akan terasa masuk angin kus-kus..ish3..
kerja kita pun mulala jadi lembab cam penagih..ish3..
semua makanan kat office rini semua ada kari..
hadoii!!!!tulun-tulun..diriku lemas dengan kari..waaaaa~~~
dah tu rini banyak kali turun naik turun naik kat office atas..
twitt2!!!kita guna tangga ok..
lif tolong sape-sape yang budiman buatkan tuk kita..lalala~
then tadi time ada client datang..
mulut kita ni tanpa diduga..
secara automatik mengeluarkan perkataan penat sekuat hati kita..shit la..
(hopefully client tu tak ade la beranggapan kita ni ada mental disorder..haish)
mariam(salah seorang budak praktikal gak)tiba-tiba terkejut dengan reaksi kita tu..
pastu terus gelakkan kita..ayoyo~

Heart That pray

Well..I start my day very early in the morning..panicking with insecurities and lack of self esteem..my sister manage to sit down with me encourage me to go on and be brave. I've been there, and I know that somehow or rather I need to do this..I need to be ready and face the world again. This time I determine to do it right. This time, I won't let anybody put me down..This time, I will stand on my own feet..This time, I will give them back in their face!

My conscious is clear, I don't want to hurt anyone..My heart is lighten by accepting the truth. Knowing that there is higher and greater power, and to Allah I surrender my hatred heart, my beyond pain..May it will heal by time..I pray that I will be able to forgive and forget..

This is life, sometimes we are up, sometimes we are down..we are paddling our own life..whether that you want it or not..you still have to live your life, and life goes on..

Love? Yes..i Still want to believe in love...true love only comes to whom who believe in it. Say that i am living in my dreams..at least i live..this is the color of my life..

Be brave...

Ms Chenta Hearty

Merapu about my family

Wanchu balik kampung dengan 2 kereta. Since Rexton rosak, Ayahchu terpakse drive Mercs and anakanda Qaliff bawak keta kancil berwarna merah balik, sebab keta tak muat.

Selalunya, bila diaorang balik rumah aku mesti kecohhh...maner tak nyer sorang-sorang cakap macam dengan orang pekak..hehe..rumah tepi jalan..hurmmm agak2 nya aper ehh aktiviti hari nie? Nak suruh cousin aku gi cari mempelam ahh...then petang2 duduk kat luar cicah mempelam dengan garam..slurrppppp...sedapnyer....

Ehh...maner lak Dania nie? anak dara wanchu yang paling kecik nie..mula2 datang agak2 pemalu gituh..pastuh pasti tanganku ditarik kena ajak main Barbie la..masak2 la..owhh patutla, dia dah jumpa rakan seperjuangan dia, Syuhada (anak Jiran aku)...tua setahun je dari Dania...kalau korang tengok diaorang sembang..nak tergelak pon ader, sorang cakap KL ala speaking gituh, sorang lagi cakap pio (pure) Perak nyer...aku pon kalah..

Kadang macam ayam dengan itik pn ader..kalau korang nak tahu, seronok layan budak-budak nie..yang diaorang tahu, makan, tido, main..takde masalah pon macam kiter yang agak2 tua nie (aku taklah tua sangat....tapi kalau nak banding dengan budak sekolah Rendah, diaorang panggil aku kakak..heheheh...senior ahh tu)

Haih, Wanchu cakap Aunty Nadia balik UK nak Xmas dengan family dia. Mesti Achik and Fariz tinggal sorang kat KL. Oiii Achik, balik ah kampung, tak ingat kitaorang kat Batak Rabit nie ke? Ramai-ramai kat kampung kan best...biler lagi nak drive keta baru jauh jauh..X-trail tuh, kitaorang tak naik lagi..meh ler balik...wek3x~

Hurmmm...lepas nie cousin2 mesti suke balik kampung...diaorang tatau lagi umah dah ader wireless..tak payah nak berebut laptop macam dulu...yang kecik sibuk nak main game online, yang remaja...sibuk nak check facebook la..friendsterla..blogla...kalau dulu, time kecik2 aku dengan cousin2 yang sebaya sibuk main masak2 belakang rumah..wehhh main masak, yang betul2 tau!! Pastuh kena pulas telinga sebab longkang Opah hitam...hehehe...then gotong royong kemaskan luar rumah Opah..

Anyway, this gathering may be the last for Zhafran, I mean before he fly to German, further study in Civil Engineering..ikut AyahChu aku Ir. Zaki...wish him all the best!

Okla korang...dah tatau nak membebel aper lagi..nie keje adek aku ahh..darik semalam aku balik..asyik2 "kak long..biler nak updated blog"...hambik ko..bacerla kemerapuan aku ini...

P/S: Wehhhhh kome yang tak buat ape-ape kat KL tuh, balik ahh kampung...Batak Rabit dihati ok...

Chenta Hearty

All That I Ever Wanted

Some people have
such big dreams,
but all I want
is to love you,
to wake up beside you
each morning,
to feel the warmth
of your hand in mine,
to share each moment,
good and bad, with you,
to lose myself
in your loving arms.
Some people want
so much out of life,
but all I want
is to share
everything with you,
for us to talk long
into the night,
to dream together,
and experience
all of the little
things together
that makes life
worth living.
Yes, I have a
big dream after all.
And I want so
many things.
I want to spend the
rest of my life
with you.
And I want to
give you my love,
and to make our home
a place where
you always feel
warm and welcome,
and for us to have
a relationship in which
we accept each other
for who we are
and always find a
sweet dream in
each other's arms.
All I want is
for us to love
each other for the
rest of our lives.
And I do believe
that dreams can
come true.

My Cats, My Sweethearts...

To all cat lovers, korang mesti paham aper perasaan aku ketika aku ceritakan pasal kenkucing aku yang cute (Arghhh tak kira, cute jugak...) hehe~ Yang atas tuh gambar yang akan selama-lama nye aku abadikan kat dalam album aku..yang paling senior, Ghemok (10thn), Mickey and Minnie (adek-beradek, satu emak, satu bapak) kalau diaorang ader lagi maybe umur diaorang dah 4 thn.

Ghemok is my first FOREVER LOVE jumpe ghemok when i was during my matriculation in UPM. I saw her many times but she keeps running away..time tuh..MASHYAALLAHH...giler tembam ghemok tuh..and takde rupe pon macam kucing tepi jalan, aku raser dia sesat..even nak cari makan pon kekok je..If you all saw her when she was standing on her two foot, perut dia jatuh mengelebeh kat lantai..agak2 keje part time kat hostel kot..mop lantai dengan perut..


Jatuh cinta dengan dia maser tuh dia tengah main lalat aku tengok dia dari tingkat 5, G505 (tuh dorm aku)..isk3x! macam kena pukau dengan ke'cute'an Ghemok..aper lagi aku start moto gi 7-11 beli friskie, and umpan dia ikut aku..dari tingkat bawah sampai ahh tingkat atas..lepas tuh mak cik tuh terus melekat dengan aku.


Bila dia lepak kat bawah dengan geng yang tak sebulu dengan dia (maklumla, dia nie eksen sket..budget 'ROYAL') time makan je..aku jerit nama dia.."Ghemok..friskie..." 2-3 kali..huh laju je dia naik..aku tunggu 5 minit tak sampai, 10 minit tak sampai..confirm sesat...selalunye tingkat 3 atau 4. Confused kot...terchangak2x cari aku depan dorm lain..mmgla arrr tak jumpe..


Tepuk tangan, hushhhh berlari arah aku dengan kegembiraan..pastuh ader hati nak lumba naik tangga dengan aku..tercunggap2 tak cukup nafas dibuatnya...Anyway tuh cerita 8 tahun dulu..still kekal kat dalam ingatan..tuh ahh dah sayang mesti ingat :)

Then comes Mickey and Minnie, hadiah daripada X aku. konon2 hadiah birthday..sib baik chomel, kalau tak aku bagi balik...aku dapat diaorang nie time baby. Umur tgh menyusu lagi..so dengan secara automatiknya aku jadik ibu susu kat diaorang nie (Korang jangan pusing lak!! Otak kuning korang nie..) Beli susu tepung untuk kittens la...manja sangat diaorang nie..and baik je..tak pernah kasik aku marah..muka diaorang sentiasa manja..

Since satu lelaki and satu laki pompuan, cukup umur aku bawak diaorang gi sunat..takdela mengatal..tapi apa kan daya..bawak gi ospital kerajaan..paham2 la servis diaorang nie..hampehhh..tak payah la cakap banyak..diaorang tak sunat be..betul-betul..

Minnie bila dah remaja budjet jadik rebutan kampung..asyik jalan je merata, sekali tuh hilang 1 minggu, bapak aku jumpe mayat kena langgar kat jalan depan rumah..semua orang ingat Minnie, satu rumah menangis..aku gik keje pon mata bengkak2, tepon adek2 aku pon asyik buat flashback and nangis.."camnela perasaan dia biler mati..? bla bla bla..." 2,3,4 hari ahh kitaorang meratapi kehilangan dia..then...tetiba, muncul plak makcik tuh dari mane..muka dia tengin je buat tak reti, balik sebab lapar...RIndu Sangat kat Dia!!!

Then 2 minggu lepas tuh..she's gone until now...harap2 kalau orang yang jumpe dia, jaga dia and sayang dia macamner kitaorang sayang kat dia..

Mickey, abang yang penyayang..selalu beralah dengan adek dia minnie tuh..diaorang nie kawan rapat..kalau Minnie takde, Mickey mesti bising cari pastuh tak keruan adek dia hilang..masa time Minnie hilang betul2..Mickey takde mood langsung untuk makan and main..kitaorang semua risau..

Then satu pagi tu...dia pon hilang, raser dia cari Minnie...sampai hari dan tika ini..2-2 masih lagi hilang..

Gambar Minnie dalam ribaan aku, cutekan...?

Miss you all..
Chenta Hearty