Saturday, January 30, 2010

Dammit!! Why That I missed him so???

It has been few weeks that I tried very hard to forget about him. Him who took my heart away and crushed it. Him who said that he loves me so much, at the end that I know he doesn't understand what's the real meaning of love. He who adored me for who I am, but only GOD knows how well he acted. Yes, in so many ways, he has changed my perception of man and love..

Maybe he is sick, sick inside that he even didn't even realize that he is sick. He has been looking for love for all these while before he met me. He abandon his love for his family looking for peace, happiness and joy outside, but at the end he realize that it was not what he's looking for. And he will be always been looking for something that he, himself don't even know what's completed him.

From the way i observed him, his heart comes from a broken pieces, nobody could completed him. Every women in his life somehow hold and carry some part of him. I think that includes me too. Confused whether to blame everything on him, or accepting him for what he is? Girls, when you come across with someone like this, first you have to know that with whom you been dealing with.

I been there, and I know...no matter how much I give in will never be enough for him. Because he didn't how much is enough for him..he is the slave for his own hunger..

It is not totally his fault, maybe the way he is brought up in his life..lack of attention and love. Or maybe the wrong set of idol that he has been set for himself, I don't know..only him and GOD knows...

Deeply inside, I love him and I cared for him..but nothing I can do. I was hurt, hurt by his deeds, and words. until today...everything still fresh in my head. I pray that this pain will stop on day but honestly, it will take me sometimes to heal from this heartbreak.

Dammit!!!!!!!!!

Why is it today, i miss him so??????? Why?!! Sick isn't it? I was missing for all those charm and cared. DAmmmitttt!!! GOD please help me...my heart has been painfully broken, but why, why i missed him so? he took away everything that i own once, MY HEART, but why..???

DAmmit!!! Life must go on...and I've started mine...I have to be strong!!

Chenta Hearty

Blog adek aku yang cute miutttttt

Setelah sekian lamer aku tak update blog aku...hari ni ader gak chance aku mengerobek blog yang dah nak usang nie..start2, bukak blog Tia...isk3x adek aku yang sungguh sengal tuh suke buat aku gelak terbahak-bahak..anyway guys, wish you all enjoy melayan post adek ku yang chomel nie...
mayat terdampar kat office?????

ye..tadi kat office ade mayat hidup berlegar-legar kat ruang office..
mao tau sape???kitala!!!!!..
mao tau kenapa dan mengapa???
sebabnya hari ni satu office kita bau kari!!
mak datok!!!engkau..jangan main-main..
kita ni kalau dah terhidu bau kari ni rasa cam pening lak pale kita+perutku yang munggil ni akan terasa masuk angin kus-kus..ish3..
kerja kita pun mulala jadi lembab cam penagih..ish3..
semua makanan kat office rini semua ada kari..
hadoii!!!!tulun-tulun..diriku lemas dengan kari..waaaaa~~~
dah tu rini banyak kali turun naik turun naik kat office atas..
twitt2!!!kita guna tangga ok..
lif tolong sape-sape yang budiman buatkan tuk kita..lalala~
then tadi time ada client datang..
mulut kita ni tanpa diduga..
secara automatik mengeluarkan perkataan penat sekuat hati kita..shit la..
(hopefully client tu tak ade la beranggapan kita ni ada mental disorder..haish)
mariam(salah seorang budak praktikal gak)tiba-tiba terkejut dengan reaksi kita tu..
pastu terus gelakkan kita..ayoyo~

Monday, January 4, 2010

Heart That pray

Well..I start my day very early in the morning..panicking with insecurities and lack of self esteem..my sister manage to sit down with me encourage me to go on and be brave. I've been there, and I know that somehow or rather I need to do this..I need to be ready and face the world again. This time I determine to do it right. This time, I won't let anybody put me down..This time, I will stand on my own feet..This time, I will give them back in their face!

My conscious is clear, I don't want to hurt anyone..My heart is lighten by accepting the truth. Knowing that there is higher and greater power, and to Allah I surrender my hatred heart, my beyond pain..May it will heal by time..I pray that I will be able to forgive and forget..

This is life, sometimes we are up, sometimes we are down..we are paddling our own life..whether that you want it or not..you still have to live your life, and life goes on..

Love? Yes..i Still want to believe in love...true love only comes to whom who believe in it. Say that i am living in my dreams..at least i live..this is the color of my life..

Be brave...

Ms Chenta Hearty

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